Back in January, a mom blogger that I follow posted
10 Ways to Save Your Sanity, filled with suggestion (ten of them to be precise) of how to cope with a child that's driven you to the brink of insanity. In another post this week, she referenced the post again and I found the timing to be perfect as I re-read the post and did some reflecting on our darling - yet frustrating - little Boston.
She's not a bad kid; for goodness sake, she's just a few days shy of two months. She does what every baby does: sleeps, eats, poops and cries. Trouble is, though, that her big sister did those things in a predictable pattern at this stage of the game. By two months of age Bailey would eat, spend some time awake, then nap in a regular three hour cycle. Even if we threw in "field trips" to visit relatives, friends, go shopping, etc. she would keep pace and sleep through whatever it was, fall asleep on cue, and eat full meals when it came time to nurse. She was the "perfect" babywise baby. At least it seems that way in hindsight.
Poor Boston is anything but. She's a lazy nurser, which leaves her hungry half an hour later. She's unpredictable in her wake-times; some days she's up for an hour after eating, some days she wants to go immediately back to sleep. She's resistant to napping anywhere but her bed (Tuesday she was awake for three hours straight because she wouldn't sleep in the stroller as we went to the fruit market at a local mall).
Yesterday afternoon I hit a wall, so to speak, when she quit nursing after only a few minutes on one side; it was nothing new, but it was the last straw after a(nother) exhausting day. I screamed in her face. Well, not really screamed. More like a jaw-clenched "arrggghhhhhh!!!" from my throat with my nose pinned against hers, but it was accompanied with a stronger-than-a-love-pat swat across her leg in order to "encourage" her to eat some more. Who am I kidding. I was angry and I acted without thinking. We both had a good cry - a good, long sob fest - and I resolved to make my list. My list of the things I love about our precious baby girl.
(1) You're patient with Nala. Unlike your sister, you, dear Boston, could care less if Nala sneaks up on you to sniff your face or lick your toes. I find your apathy endearing.
(2) You love bath time. I don't know what it is about the water, but you love it. You'll lie there forever as I dump cups of water over your tummy and legs, and don't even squirm when I play with the suds in your hair. You get more baths than you really need because I enjoy watching you enjoy them.
(3) You love to cuddle. If we would do it, you would let us hold you all day, every day. Up on a shoulder, lying in someone's arms, or even across a lap, you just want to be skin to skin. And while some days I think "I don't have time for this!" I remember that you'll be our last baby (according to our plan, anyway), so I better enjoy it while I can.
(4) You make the greatest faces. Okay, usually they're blank stares of a sleepy-head, but they still make me laugh.
(5) Your smile melt my heart every time! When I'm on the brink of a breakdown, that goofy, toothless grin reels me back in. And your timing is usually perfect.
(6) You're a regular Houdini. More than once, you've woken up from a nap with limbs hanging out of your swaddle. Usually when Dad wraps you up, not that I'm keeping track...
(7) You put up with your sister's crazy antics. Whether it's playing "I Spy" with a used paper towel roll, or having a tea party with a wiffle ball at your feet, you let her be the big sis and show you how it's done. And you usually don't cry about it (you leave that for me as I watch my two girls "play nice" together, already).
(8) You keep me warm! It will have to get really cold for me to put on a jacket while carrying you up against my chest. Carrying you around is like having my own personal heater.
(9) You've started to coo, and those timid little ooo's and aaah's are a welcome addition to the soundtrack in our house. I'll work on getting a video of it; you're just a bit camera shy right now.
(10) And that hair! Much as you could spend all day wrapped up in someone's arms, I could spend all day playing with the puffy, curly locks that sit atop your head.I'm so glad the doctor was wrong about it all falling out (and that you haven't yet developed a bald spot in back).
Lord, help me to remember these things about my baby girl as she cries and fusses and does things "off schedule". Help me to see her as YOU see her; a precious gift from heaven that you've entrusted to us. Help me to do right by her, and by you.