And Then What?

The past five weeks I've been doing Beth Moore's Bible study on the book of Esther with my pastor's wife and two other young ladies that she's discipling.  Every week during the DVD session I think to myself: "I have to put this on the blog! It's just too good not to share!" But until now I haven't followed through.

In this week's session, we hit the part of the "story" where Esther had to decide.  Decide to face her fear of death by entering the king's presence without being summoned, or sit back, do nothing, and die for being a Jew.  Tough choice.

In talking about the fear Esther must have faced at that junction in her life, Beth Moore went on a tangent - a long, thoughtful, wonderful tangent - about fears and how often we let them control our lives.  So much so that we can become paralyzed by them and miss out on being used by God in amazing ways.  There was so much that she shared about fear, so much that hit home for me, but what stood out to me was the illustration that she used from her own life as she faced a nagging fear of her own.

"What if my husband falls in love with someone else?" she confessed as a recurring fear in her mind.

One day, plagued by the thought, God lead her to play it out.  As if God said, "Okay, Beth. Say he does. Then what?"

"I'd throw a fit!"

"Okay, and then what?"

"Well, I'd get really, really mad and yell terrible things."

"And then what?"

"I'd fall on the floor and cry."

"Then what?"

On and on she went.  Ping-ponging with God over what would happen next.

I'd cry. I'd yell. I'd pull the covers over my head.

And then what?

Eventually, Beth's answer to "then what?" was that she'd throw her Bible across her face and stare at it.  And then she'd start memorizing scripture to give her the strength to cope. And then she'd find her way back to ministry - admittedly a bit jaded and angry at first - but she'd survive. She'd bounce back. God would still work through her to accomplish His will.

I tried the same thing with some of my biggest, recurring fears.  And you know what? After enough "and then what's?" it all comes full circle. God is faithful to bring us back to Him and will use us - despite the fearful thing.

What if I fail at _____?

What if ____ doesn't work out?

What if _____ happens?

It was a bit scary, entertaining the fear and letting it "unleash" all it's misery, but in the end, it was incredibly liberating.  Because in the end, no matter what the "what if" was, the answer was always, "then, God!"  God will be there. God will be faithful. God will pick up the pieces. God will use me despite (rather, because of) the situation.  God. God. God.

Next time YOU feel overwhelmed with fear, I challenge you to do the same.  Ask yourself "and then what?"  You'll realize that God is bigger than the fear and that He will bring you through whatever it is.